Midwest Triple X - Minneapolis’ Adult Store

237 Reasons to Have Sex

Im not sure who asked the question to begin with (as though you needed a reason!), but here is the full list of 237 reasons that people said why they have sex:

1. I was in the heat of the moment.
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like the thing to do.
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from my friends.
9. Its exciting, adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to have something to tell my friends.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and youre supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was horny.
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to go all the way than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was committed.
39. I was competing with someone else to get the person.
40. I wanted to gain control of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
47. I didnt know how to say no.
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. Its fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone (i.e., get revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadnt had sex for a while.
60. The person was available.
61. I didnt want to lose the person.
62. I thought it would help trap a new partner.
63. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to possess the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about themselves.
80. I didnt want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to get over an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a deeper level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didnt have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a spiritual experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship routine.
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got carried away.
97. I needed another notch on my belt.
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
101. Its considered taboo by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too hot (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to get sex out of my system so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partners desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said no.
113. The person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about themselves.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. Im addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the rebound from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
144. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
145. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
146. I wanted to keep warm.
147. I wanted to punish myself.
148. I wanted to break up a rivals relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
149. I wanted to stop my partners nagging.
150. I wanted to impress friends.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup anothers relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someones feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say no due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say Ive missed you.
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say Im sorry.
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say Thank you.
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say goodbye.
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve blue balls.
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The persons physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that persons friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
227. I knew the person was usually out of my league.
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I wanted to feel loved.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about their problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partners spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.

This list comes from a University of Texas study published August 2007 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior (Study PDF). It asked 400 students and volunteers why they had sex. Keep in mind, most of the subjects were college-age students (which may certainly influence the top 20 reasons, below).

-A-

* A Frame: a Square frame for Bondage
* Agalmatophilia: is the desire to have sex with a statue, doll,or mannequin.
* Age Play: those who want to be an adult child.
* Agoraphilia: Defines a love of public sex play.
* Apotemnophilia: defines people who are aroused by the fantasy or act of losing a limb such as an arm or leg or even genitalia.
* Archnephilia: is the use of spiders in the sexual act.
* Auto Erotic Asphyxia: is the very dangerous practice of seeking sexual climax through the use of self strangulation.
* Axillism: is a fixation on arm pit hair or hair in general.
* Ankle Cuff: Restraints designed for the ankles. These restraints can be made of leather, which is most preferred, nylon, braided rope and/or metal.
* Algolagnia: The term to describe the act of transforming pain into sexual pleasure. This is the reference of Sadist, Sadomasochistic behavior and/or Masochistic behavior.
* Alternative Sexuality: A sexual orientation that differs from the preference for vaginal intercourse (with minor variations) within a monogamous heterosexual relationship.
* Anal Play Any sexual and/or fetish practice, concerning the anal, rectal and/or anus, which can be the use of the items, such as enemas, rimming, fisting, rimming, use of a dildo or vibrator.
* Anal Sex: Penetration of the penis into the anal, rectal and/or anus cavity.
* Anal Training: Preparations of the anus, rectum or anal cavity for anal play. This means a careful, purposeful, slow and gentle process as to prevent injuries to the anus.
* Analingus: Anal-Oral sex. Dental dams, plastic wrap as a quick means to prevent harmful exchanges of unwanted diseases or organisms. Analingus is a tongue stimulation of the anus.
* Animal Play: The “role playing” of an animal, such as a pony, canine, cat, bird or any other “animal”.

-B-

* Ball Gag: The Ball Gag is round. Most times it is made of rubber with straps attached or attached to a piece of head gear or head harness. Once placed in the mouth, the ability to communicate is restricted.
* Bat/Riding Bat: Similar version of a horse whip but instead of a thin snapper made of nylon or rawhide, there is a strip of folded leather varies in width, shape and size, patterns such as butterflies or hands are also available. The Riding Bat denotes the length of the whip not the class or style.
* BDSM: The practice of Bondage, practice of Discipline and the practice of Sadomasochism.
* Bestiality: also known as zoophilia defines those who find Animals attractive as sexual partners.
* Boundaries: areas or acts that are frightening but may be tried
* Bondage: is the practice of restraint for sexual purposes.
* Bondage Table: A table with rings down both sides
* Bradycubia: is the practice of finding release by having sex very slowly.
* Breath Control: Obtaining sexual excitement from having another
control your oxygen intake
* Beast Sex: Any sex with any animal. Also known as zoophilia
* Bed/Horizontal X: This is a “X” frame, also known to be called the “Saint Andrew’s Cross,” which is used for the horizontal use to restrain the submissive to the bed
* Berkley Horse: Named after Madame Berkely in the Victorian era, a owner of the Special Spanking Clubs for Gentlemen in Paris, France
* Black Snake: This is a label for a single tail whip, which is flexible and made of one continued construction
* Blindfold: A covering for the eyes, in which the idea is to prevent sight
* Blood Sport: SM practices that result in drawing blood from the subject. commonly in the role of “medical play”
* Body Fluid Monogamy: This is a “between partner” agreement.to exchange direct body fluids only between them
* Body Fluid Bonding: the exchange of fluids to cement a relationship
* Bondage: Any practice which restrains a person’s movement
* Bondage Belt: Usually a belt made of leather, chain or nylon which metal “D” rings are attached, to assist with bondage
* Bondage Chair: Much like a “electric chair” found in penal institutions
* Bondage Frame: The Bondage Frame is a stationary device that is so used to bind a submissive to. The bondage frame may be free standing or affixed to the wall
* Bottom Space/Sub Space: A type of erotic altered state of consciousness
* Brat: A bottom who enjoys struggling against control and/or challenges the Top
* Brain Fade: The loss of ability to “reason and/or state of confusion
* Breast Torture: Also known as “tit torture,” it is any play with the breasts that is erotic.
* Breeding Bench: A classic and ancient form to mating unwilling females.
* Body Modification: The use of any practice that causes any reshaping or ornaments the body for ritual, erotic and/or decorative purposes.
* Branding: The burning of the skin, usually with a heated iron, heated metal, and other tools.
* Buggy Whip: A single thong whip with a rigid core and flexible cracker on the end. This whip is usually over 6 feet long

-C-

* Cage/Bondage Cage: A cage that is large enough to contain the entire body of the submissive.
* Cane: Traditional canes are flexible rattan or bamboo with the optional leather handle. Modern canes can be made of plastic or fiberglass
* Cat/Cat-O-Nine Tails: The term originally referred to the whip used by the British Navy around 1600-1800 circa. The “true original” cat-o-nine tails were made of rope or hemp rope with knots
* Catharsis: Purge of the emotions and/or stress through the SM scene.
* Chain Cage/Chain Maiden: Much like a “Iron Maiden,” a tight single person cage made of chain that is hung and able to swing and be twisted, in which the submissive is forced to stand and unable to move around
* Chasity Belt: A device worn by men or women, to which restricts sexual access.
* Checking In: Dominants who ask the submissive during the scene, asking how they are doing and how they are feeling, with specific questions in order to get more useful answers, is known as “checking in”.
* Cinching: A wearing of a cincher. This is a garment that is similar but less encompassing then a corset.
* Clamp/Clamping: Nipple clamps, clothespins, binder clips, mice traps, rat traps, that are designed to pinch a bit of skin
* Cock and/or Cock and Ball Cage: A metal and/or leather device worn by men as to restrict the use of their penis
* Cock Ring: Made of metal and/or leather which the male testicles, also known as balls, are fed through one at a time and then the penis.
* Code Words: The words used in code to disguise the sexual intent of the user to the society at large. For some examples: English Culture, Greek, French, German, strict, discipline and leather, etc.
* Collar/Collared: 1. A symbol of ownership worn by a slave or submissive. This collar is a profound symbol of a commitment and bond. It is much like a wedding ring and is to be treated as such. Further, a “collared,” slave or submissive is considered to be “owned” by their dominant.
* Countdowns: A Pavlovian effect to produce orgasms on command Conditioning: This is a term which psychology training in which the mind is trained through a deliberate process mentally linking between a desired response and an unrelated stimulant.
* Conrapolor Stimulation: It is the act or behavior, which is often described as, “It hurts so good”!
* Consensual: The act, behavior and/or activities to which are agreed upon by both parties and/or all parties involved.
* Corporal: Any activity that involves striking of the one individual by another. This is related to “Corporal Punishment.” Covenant: A deeply committed relationship or agreement
* Contract: Placing those negotiated Limits and Boundaries to paper, Usually for a set period of time
* Crop/Horse Crop: Usually the length of 12 inches, in which the end does not have a cracker and/or snapper, but made with a folded piece of leather
* Crucifixion: Bondage incorporating a stationary cross. (No Nails)
* Capnolagnia: is a fetish involving sexualizing watching others smoke.
* Catheterophilia: achieving sexual pleasure from having objects inserted into the urethra. Such as metal, glass or rubber rods
* Cat-fighting: sexual excitement derived from watching women fight or wrestle.
* CBT: or Cock and Ball Torture: deriving sexual excitement from Bondage and torture of the male genitalia.
* Chezolagnia: deriving sexual excitement from a bowel movement.
* Chubby Chasers: those who find women of size their sexual Ideal.
* Climacophilia: those who seek sexual excitement from falling.
* Coitus a Chevel: sex on horseback or around horses.
* Coitus a mammillia: arousal from breast sex.
* Coitus a Unda: excitement from having sex in water.
* Coprolalia: the art of talking dirty
* Coprophilia: sexual arousal from feces.
* Coprophagy: sexual arousal from ingesting feces
* Crush Fetish: sexual arousal from being stepped upon or watching things crushed by women such as small animals.
* Cunnilingus: Oral sex on a female.
* Cuff/Cuffing: Placing the handcuffs, manacles, leather cuffs, nylon cuffs and/or any similar device or restraints on or about the wrists, ankles and/or both.
* Cutting: The slicing of skin as a part of modifying the body known as “Body Modification,” for ritual and/or scene in which a tattoo like pattern is made.

-D-

* Dacryphilia: excitement from seeing or feeling or tasting another’s tears.
* Dental Dam: This “Dental Dam” is a latex barrier used for cunnilingus or analingus to prevent disease transmission
* Discipline: The “D” in BDSM. This can mean: 1. Punishment and/or 2. Structured training of the submissive 3.having control over ones own actions.
* Dressage Whip: A whip, which in length is approximately 2 feet or more in length.
* Drover’s Whip: A single tail whip, which is coarsely braided, shorter then a bull whip, thicker then a bull whip, it is measured from 7 to 9 feet, with a cracker.
* Doraphilia: a fetish for animal fur or skin , often Leather
* Dungeon: a play space usually stocked with equipment and tools for S&M; a play space.
* Dysmorphophilia: People who gain sexual excitement from deformities such as scars, hair-lips, dwarves, hunchbacks, burn victims and so on.

-E-
* Edge Play: Erotic role play at and/or near the edge of the submissive’s and/or dominant’s limits. The term also is used to refer to the higher level elements of risk.
* Endorphins/Endorphin High: In the human body, a substance called endorphin is produced to help the body deal with pain and/or stress. Entirely natural, the body “endorphin” may create the feeling of “well being” and/or “intoxication”.
* Enema: The instrument that is used to inject fluid into the rectum and/or anal passages to and for the flushing of lower intestines.
* Electrical Play: sexplay involving Violet wands, TENS units, electrical shocks.
* English: This is the code word for spanking or corporal punishment. Further, this word is often used in ads.
* Exhibitionism: arousal from being watched or exposing oneself.

-F-

* Fetish: A sexual fixation on a activity or object. Such a example may be foot fetish.
* Fire Play: The use of alcohol in a carefully arraigned scene which fire is used as a erotic sensation or burning off pubic hair.
* Fire and Ice: The use of “hot and cold” is termed “fire and ice.” An example of this is hot wax followed by a piece of ice or fire play and ice.
* Fisting: the act of inserting the entire hand in the vagina or rectum and closing into a fist.
* Flatuphilia: an interest in flatulence “farting”.
* Flagellation: The act of whipping an individual.
* Flogger: A multi thonged whip known as tails, is a flogger.
* Flogging: the act of using a flogger; whipping.
* French: Code word for kissing involving the tongue such as in cunnilingus and fellatio.
* Food Fetish: those who gain sexual arousal from eating or smearing food on themselves or their partner.
* Foot Fetish: sexual arousal from feet.
* Forniphilia: sexual arousal obtained by being an object or a piece of furniture.
* French Training Harness: Used to train the submissive in oral sex or used as a means to hold the mouth open by force to allow a penis to enter.
* Frottage: sexual arousal through rubbing oneself on strangers.
* Furries: People who like dressing as animal or acting as same.

-G-

* Gerontophilia: seeking elderly sexual partners.
* Giantess Fetish: sexual arousal from extremely tall or muscular women.
* Gender Play: To dress up or take the role of the opposite sex during a scene. Genital Torture: Erotic play that torments the breasts, nipples, cock and balls, anus, clitoris and vagina.
* German: Code word for sadomasochistic desires.
* Golden Showers: Also known as “Water Sports,” involves urine on or in another person.
* Gorean: This comes from the novels written by John Norman. The imaginary planet of Gor.
* Greek Training Bench: A sawhorse like bench, in which the body rests on a small platform to support the weight.

-H-
* Handcuffs: These metal shackles are used to bind the wrists swiftly and securely by law enforcement personnel.
* Head Games: 1. Domination where the focus is primarily mental, such as humiliation, rather then physical, such as bondage or whipping. 2. Non-consensual psychological manipulation to make a person respond in a particular way for one’s own purpose.
* Hood: A covering for the head. Hoods vary in use in SM and are made from various materials, especially leather.
* Humiliation: Playful embarrassment or humbling a person by teasing .
* Hairsuit: A very hairy person.
* Hierophilia: the use of sacred objects for masturbation or profane acts in a church.
* Humiliation: Eroticization of disgrace or weakness.

-I-

* Infibulation: Injecting saline into the scrotum of a male to cause swelling.
* Infantilism: defines those who are aroused by being “Adult Babies”; things like suckling pacifiers, drinking bottles and wearing diapers.
* In-Role: A person when assuming the persona of a sexual archetype or fantasy character.
* Iron Maiden: A classic iron cage, which forms around the body, that tightly and firmly holds the subject in place without allowing the subject to squat or move about.

-J-

* Japanese Bondage: Oriental bondage or rope dress is usually a beautiful means of bondage in design and effect.
* Journal: A diary written by a submissive about their journey.
* Journaling: the act of writing a journal.

-K-

* Kama Sutra: (Indian translation) One man with herd of cows, which means one man with many women.
* Katherine Wheel: A piece of equipment that looks like a large vertically mounted round table. The restraints are placed for spread-eagle position. The submissive is bound to the wheel.
* Knife Play: The play includes the use of the knife, and does not imply that there is any cutting.
* Klismaphilia: the use of enemas for sexual excitement.

-L-

* Lifestyle: a term coined to describe those who feel they Live in a BDSM role at all times.
* Lovestyle: Bedroom BDSM or another description of the above.
* Latex: Latex and rubber are used to make clothing, sheets and other fetish items.
* Lactaphilia: sexual arousal from breast milk.
* Lagnonector: one who kills in order to have sex with the corpse.
* Leatherbutt: 1. A term that describes a person who has been beaten so often that only intense whipping has any effect
* Limit/Limits: The boundaries of SM.

-M-

* Maieusiophilia: the desire to have sex with a pregnant woman.
* Masochism/Masochist: The erotic enjoyment of pain, humiliation and/or being dominated.
* Mucophagy: sexual arousal from nasal excretions.
* Mummification: a form of bondage, being wrapped from head to toe in latex, Plastic or other material.
* Mysophilia: sexual excitement from soiled undergarments or clothing.
* Medical Play: Play that involves medical devices such as a speculum or just about any play that involves Fluids. Can be a very involved scene where people play “Doctor”.

-N-

* Necrophilia: sexual excitement from sex with the dead.
* Negotiations: The process of determining the practices and boundaries of SM activities between the Top and the bottom.
* Nosophilia: sexual excitement from sex with the terminally ill.
* Nipple Clamp/Nipple Clip: Clamps designed and/or used to be placed on the nipples.
* Nipple Torture: Stimulation of the nipples by corporal punishment and/or erotic purposes.
* Nonconsensual: SM play that has not been sanctioned by either player.
* Novice: A person with an interest in SM, but lacks experience.

-O-

* Oculolingus: sexual excitement from licking or kissing the eyes.
* Ophidicism: sexual arousal from Serpents or snakes.
* Over the Knee/OTK: A classic spanking position, in which the submissive/slave is placed over the knee/lap and spanked.

-P-

* Paradise Electro Stimulation/PES: A device that electrically stimulates muscle contractions, made by the company of the same name.
* Pediophilia: a fetish for dolls, often confused with Pedophilia.
* Pedophilia: sexual attraction to children, sometimes acted out in fantasy play by consenting adults.
* Pervert: According to society perverts are those who do not stay within society’s normal acceptance.
* Piercing: Piercing the skin with a needle in a SM scene, as a ritual and/or body modification.
* Play Piercing: Placing needles in the skin or flesh on a temporary basis.
* Phallophilia: a fetish for a large penis also called size queens.
* Pie Fetish: those who like to be hit with pies.
* Poly: an open relationship, or relationship with three or more people.
* Polyamory: a Love based relationship involving three or more people.
* Pansexual: either describing the Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian,trasgender community. Or another term for Bisexual.
* Polyamorous: wishing or having a multiple love relationship
* Polyiterophilia: the need to have more than one sexual partner to achieve orgasm.
* Pony Play: the desire to be a horse or train a human horse.
* Psychrocism: sexual arousal from being cold or having a cold partner.
* Pillory: a wood frame, free standing stocks that imprisons the head and wrists for immobilizing a person.
* Pizzle: A highly dangerous and deadly toy, which is made from the dried and stretched penis of a bull or any large animal
* Plastic Wrap: Regular plastic food wrap, saran wrap or plastic garbage bag, which can be used to encase the body for bondage.
* Play: Participating in a SM scene or SM scene activity.
* Power Exchange: The empowerment of the dominant by the submissive surrendering his/her control.
* Psychosexual: Emotionally, attitudes, orientations and/or mindsets associated with erotic behavior or sexual fantasy life.
* Puppet Chain: Origins in Ancient Greece, the puppet chain was used to control run away slaves, or hard to control slaves or prisoners
* PVC/Polyvinyl-chloride: 1. A type of plastic used for fetish clothing.
* Playspace: A room or Space that for a period of time is used for BDSM
* Post: a Pole that has attachment points for BDSM Play

-Q-

* Quirt: A flexible leather whip that resembles the likes of a mini-bull whip. The quirt has two crackers instead of one like a bull whip.
* Queer: a referance to a person with Homosexual tastes.

-R-

* Retifism: the sexual arousal from footwear.
* Rimming: A common term for analingus (anal-oral sex).
* Role Play: 1. Elaboration of one’s sexual inclinations by creating a fantasy framework for them.
* Roman Showers: sexual arousal over being vomited upon.
* Rope Dress: Another word for Oriental Bondage.
* Rope Dressage: Using a rope leash to turn a subject in a circle with a whip.

-S-

* S.A.M.: Refers to the Smart Ass Masochist. This is a bottom, who rather than submit, challenges or annoys to entice a Dom to punish him/her.
* Sadism/Sadist: Deriving sexual pleasure from giving pain, humiliation and/or domination.
* Safe, Sane and Consensual: The standard, the banner to which characterizes the acceptable play within the SM Community.
* Safe Words/Safe Signals: A word, a phrase, a song to hum when gagged, a item to be dropped (when gagged), to regulate the play as to stop it and/or to slow down.
* Saint Andrew’s Cross: A upright cross in the shape of a “X” to which people are bound to it face in or faced out, for torture, whipping or any other play.
* Scat: Feces and/or playing with feces.
* Scene: 1. The SM or fetish community or things that are associated with it. 2. The occurrence of a session of SM play,The period of time people engage in S&M or D/S play, the act of playing.
* Sensory Deprivation: Restricting or diluting a sub’s ability to use one or more of his/her senses, of touch, sight, hearing, taste and/or smell as part of a SM scene.
* Scene Friendly: Familiarity with and acceptance of the SM scene and SM players, usually refers to professionals such as Doctors, Lawyers, Therapists, etc.
* Sensual Play: SM Play that focuses on stimulating the senses without the use of pain.
* Service: Acts, chores, and/or labor, sexual or otherwise, performed by a submissive for the benefit of the dominant.
* Serpent’s Tongue: A type of slapper made of thick leather, a taws/tawes, of two or more inches wide with a deep cut “V” cut into it. Much like a viper’s/snake’s tongue.
* Signal Whip: A dog training whip, shorter then a single tail whip, meant only to make noise or sound to get a dog’s attention.
* Single Tail: Single tail whips describes the majority of the whips that do not break in braid, that from the handle, the fall (the middle part), to the snapper. It is one continuous line. Usual length is 3-7 feet and is flexible.
* Sissyfication/Feminization: A practice desired by male submissives of which “forced” cross dressing and/or gender reassignment.
* Spreader Bar: A strong bar, usually of wood, bamboo, metal pipe and/or plastic pipe, which has two holes or attachment loops, to bind the submissive’s wrists and/or ankles apart.
* Stocks: A device (usually wooden) with holes designed into it, to imprison the submissive’s head, wrists and/or ankles.
* Straight: 1. Code word for heterosexual. 2. Term for someone or something that is not SM orientated.
* Submissive/Sub: One who surrenders control of his/her body and behavior (within pre-defined limits), to another for erotic play.
* Sub Space: Also known as “bottom space,” or “flying.” A state which is covered in “flying”.
* Suspension: A bondage technique wherein, the submissive hangs totally their whole body weight and/or partially hangs their body weight.
* Switch: 1. A person who enjoys taking either side in SM role and/or physical play
sensation: Another word for pain.

-T-

* Tools: whips, floggers, ect the “tools” of S&M practices.
* Toys: Another terms for tools.
* 24/7: Living the lifestyle 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
* TPE: total power exchange, such as in a Master Slave relationship.
* Taphephilia: sexual arousal from being buried alive.
* Tampon Training: Rectal insertion of tampons into a male submissive’s rectum, to have them empathize with the female’s menstrual cycle.
* Taws/Tawes: A thick rigid leather with length wise slit and/or slits in it. It is used like a paddle.
* TENS Unit/The Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation Unit: This is used by chiropractors to cause the involuntary muscle contractions.
* Thud: A blow that is felt at a deeper level than a sting. The thud is easier to tolerate, but in actuality is more damaging as it causes deeper bruising.
* Tit Torture: Erotic play involving the breasts. Also refer to breast/genital torture.
* Top: One who takes the Dominant role, in active physical role-play, but not necessarily emotionally involved.
* Training: Any of many disciplines wherein the dominant and the submissive act together to modify the submissive’s behavior, condition and/or attitude.
* TS/Transsexual: A person to whom is born one gender that does not match his/her personal psychology.
* TV/Transvestite: A man or woman who dress in the opposite gender clothing.

-U-

* Urolagnia: sexual arousal from being urinated upon.

-V-

* Voyeurism: deriving sexual pleasure from secretly watching others.
* Vampire Gloves: Vampire gloves are most often thin leather driving gloves, that have sharp metal tacks or tines lining the palms,used for spanking.
* Vanilla: Describes things, people and activities that are not part of the SM scene.
* Verbal Humiliation/Verbal Abuse: The use of sexual epithets and similar verbalizations to excite and/or humiliate one’s partner.
* Vinyl: A material used for fetish fashion.
* Violet Wand: A static electricity generator, frequently used with multiple attachments, including globes, thin tubes or shaped tubes, etc.
* Visualization: The use of story telling and/or verbal fantasy sharing, to achieve a mood and/or desired effect on the mind set.

-W-

* Wartenburg Pinwheel: A neural response tester, which is constructed with a metal handle.
* Water Sports: Sexual play involving urine or enemas.
* Weights: Lead fishing weights and/or any other object hung from the clamps that are attached to the body, to increase the amount of torment.
* Whip: A whip is an object to beat on a submissive. Many people use the term “whip” in SM scene.
* Worship: 1. To lavish attention upon a part of the body, usually feet, pussy, ass and/or cock.
* Wrapping: Allowing the tips of the whip and/or cane to strike parts of the body other then the intended target.

-X-
-Y-
-Z-

* Zoophilia: A clinical name tag of those who participate in any Beast Sex or sexual pleasure, from human to animal or animal to human.

As promised, here is an extremely simple exercise to help couples (groups or whatever else you’re into) open up to eachother. We get this request alot at Midwest Triple X, as well as in our home parties that we do.

You make a list, but not just any list. You each make a list (in private) of these specific things.

1) Three things you have done in the past that you enjoy (whether with your partner or someone else)

2) Three things that you would never do

3) Three things that you would like to try

Seems simple enough, but heres the kicker. Make 1 list every month for 3 months straight. You will be suprised. You’re first, and very rarely your second list will be extremely tame (in general). All it takes is one person to break the ice to open eachothers mind, and feel comfortable. And as always, this only works with open communication, and with the understanding that it must be safe, sane, and consensual!

We’re all here. Seems like a fairly obvious statement but some people seem to forget that. We take alot of crap from people, people from all walks. They seem to miss a very key aspect of things, that we’re all here.

As much as it is a little bit disturbing to think about it, you’re here because your parents schtupped. They got down. Got it on. More likely than not they did it a bunch too.

Anyways, back to my rant.

There is no reason not to be open about sexual matters. With your kids, siblings, parents, really anyone for that matter. In terms of specifics that is up to your discretion, but general conversations shouldn’t be a problem at all. SEX ISN’T A 4 LETTER WORD! And it sure as hell never will be!

It would be bad enough if we were just a “Don’t push the red button!” society, but unfortunately, at this point we can’t even openly discuss that there is a red button at all! People get upset when 14 year old girls get knocked up, or even if they find out they’re having intercourse for that matter. Frankly, I would be too if it was my daughter (I have none). Well, instead of shifting blame solely to a 14 year old girl (who can’t even get a drink, a pack of smokes, or a porno if she wanted), maybe these kids parents should take a little responsibility. Instead of shying away from something as taboo as sex (the reason you’re alive to read this right now), why not actually address and educate!

Too many parents it seems these days leave this daunting task up to the school system. Not knocking the school system at all, but let’s assume for a second your child is actually in class and not in the principals office, or out sick, or skipping that day.

1) Kids generally don’t retain a whole hell of alot of information they learn in school

2) There are fairly strict guidelines on what teachers can and can’t say (even in sex ed)

3) How well do you know your childrens teachers?

4) Your kid is probably daydreaming about the new playstation 3, not giving a rats ass about about what a Fallopian Tubes purpose is

5) You don’t need to know that a fallopian tube even exists to get yourself into trouble sexually (pregnancy, std’s etc.)

I’m using parents and their kids as an example here, but realize that this carrys over to you grownups as well. This whole elephant in the living room nonsense isn’t going to fly anymore. How do you expect your kids not to get trampled if you don’t explain that Hey! You’re too young to get trampled by an elephant! Lemme tell you, it’s right there, this is your options when dealing with an elephant, and here is the risks and rewards.

In terms of couples and people that are married, even they have this similiar issues. First off, if you said I do, then there is no reason to not be upfront with your spouse. Whether you’re talking about what your favorite toothpaste is, or what your favorite sexual position is. ***Newsflash*** YOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’VE ALREADY SEALED THE DEAL AND MADE YOUR PROMISE TO GOD! It’s even ok to schtupp now in his eyes, and you’re still pussy footin around the subject! Come on!

For couples talking specifically about sexual matters I suggest 1 simple exercise for the two of you. But we’ll follow that up in a different entry~

Orgasms On Command; Counting Down to Ecstasy.

You may have heard someone talking about it, or you may have even tried it. Tried it, perhaps without result. Or you may have even faked it. Orgasms, on command, is it possible? Well the answer is for most is yes. Though, it depends greatly on particular factors.

The first and greatest is of course a willingness to have it happen. If you or your subject is dead set against this possibility there is no way you will ever get there. Like any “hypnotic” or conditioned effect, it depends greatly on the willingness of the subject to immerse themselves in the idea. The second factor is patience. You’re not going to teach or learn this in a few hours or even in a few weeks, unless you are very, very susceptible to suggestion. The easiest way to explain what this entails is to talk about Pavlov’s experiments, otherwise known as the Pavlovian effect. For those who don’t know what I am speaking of Pavlov experimented in learned response. This is essentially what we are striving for, a learned response. With Pavlov it was simple, each time he called the subject, a dog, to eat, he rang a bell, eventually just by ringing the bell caused the dog to salivate in preparation for dinner.

We do the same thing with orgasms. Beginning with conventional sex we know will cause an orgasmic response. Be that intercourse or perhaps working with a favorite toy. We are working with a count, from ten to one with the permission to release at zero, or if wished followed by a phrase such as “cum now”, or “cum for me”, etc. In case you are wondering I have had this work with both males and females.

The first step is of course sexual excitement, start with a lot of foreplay, and use what you know gets a person hot. No pressure. But be sure the person knows ahead of time they cannot orgasm without permission to do so. That no matter what they must wait until you say they can cum. What follows is a step by step count down with dialogue, you can change the dialog as you wish, but its best to keep to the principals.

As you feel you subject is approaching orgasm start the countdown. Whisper in their ear with a sensual voice. Make sure you have their attention.

“Are you ready to Cum Now? Can you feel it? Don’t cum until I tell you too, Are you ready”?

“10: Can you feel it building? That spot of heat in your belly”?

“9: Hold that heat, feel it build but hold it in a tight ball right at the pit of your belly”.

“8: You feel it get hotter now, spreading through your center”.

“7: Let the ball of fire build hotter, but hold it tightly”.

“6: Feel the ball start to grow tendrils, feel them reach out through your chest and arms to your fingers”.

“5: Feel your fingers and toes start to tingle, feel the heat start to be pulled into your center”.

“4: Concentrate on all this heat of your body drawn into your center, draw it back in and hold it tightly”.

“3: Growing hotter, hold the fire tightly, until I tell you to cum ( My Love, My sweet)”.

“2: Unbearable now, but hold it for me feel it ready to burst “.

“1: When I say (add your phrase or use zero) cum for me. I want you to feel that heat that fire run through your body and out your fingers and toes, are you ready? Are you ready to cum for me? Say Please”.

*At this point pay close attention to their movements, as you may have to draw it out a bit, by counting slowly, or quickening up the pace if you feel they can hold the orgasm no longer.*

“0: Now, cum NOW! (my love) Cum for me, feel that ball of heat explode through you, feel it run out your through your body”.

Be sure to keep your voice quiet and melodious, Not sharp, if your not sure how to do this rent a hypnosis tape and listen to the way they speak. It should be husky and sensual, your breath in their ear. Quiet so that they feel that it is all for them, that you two are the only ones there, private, safe, comfortable.

Each time you have sex, or play with a favorite toy, keep the same count, with the same script, with few if any variations. Have them hold their orgasm until the last moment and focus on their pleasure at that time. There will be time for you later. This will do a few things, it will make them feel special, it will give you a sense of accomplishment and it will begin to add a suggestion to their mind to associate your words and the countdown with orgasm.

Eventually, after the first few initial experiences slowly start to get rid of the speaking portions, first every third sentence, then every other one and so on until you are down only to the countdown from ten. This should take a few months or more until eventually the idea is down to knowing when they are ready to orgasm and that they should hold orgasm until you say zero, O, or your phrase.

After a period of time, which differs for most people, just the count will be deeply associated with the orgasmic response. Once the mind is trained, for most, all it takes is a bit of excitement, or a mild turned on feeling to have the count instigate the orgasmic response. For those who are more suggestible the response can be brought on “cold,” even in public, like in a restaurant or on a plane, ect. ect.

This does not work for everyone of course, but it is possible with a large portion of the population. An interesting effect is that once a subject has an orgasm the effect is usually very easy to immediately duplicate. My record at this time is 34 orgasms in a 4 hour period, each more powerful than the last.

Again, Thanks to wolf at Shadow Academy for such a detailed write up, you frickin rock!  For more info, visit him at Shadowacademy.com or come see us at Midwest Triple X .

Kink Etiquette

Consent

Consent is the foundation for the adult kinky activities community. Consent must be informed consent, based on an appreciation and understanding of the facts and implications of the activity at hand.

Informed consent is a legal condition whereby a person can be said to have given consent based upon a full appreciation and understanding of the facts and implications of any actions, with the individual being in possession of all of his/her faculties (they are not mentally retarded or mentally ill), and his/her judgment not being impaired at the time of consenting (by sleepiness, intoxication by alcohol or drugs, other health problems, etc.).

For the kink community, consent is the informed and voluntary (ongoing) agreement of a competent person who approves of the activity at hand, the time and place where the activity is occurring and who approves of the other people who are also involved. Consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason.

In certain circumstances, consent can be non verbal and spontaneous. However the risk of nonconsensual behavior can increase dramatically without specific prior verbal negotiation. Even people who are familiar play partners can accidentally do something that the other person doesn’t want, and hence be guilty of non-consensual or non-con behavior. Strangers or casual friends should never attempt to assume consent without specific prior verbal negotiation.

The general public cannot be assumed to be consenting. Anyone seriously intoxicated or otherwise significantly emotionally/mentally impaired cannot give consent. Other forms of impairment are illness, insufficient sleep and other health issues. A person who is in a seriously altered state, such as deep into a scene should be assumed to be unable to give consent. Consent is the basis for the negotiation that occurs regarding scenes that play partners wish to engage in with each other.

[Note: It shouldn't have to be said, but anyone under the age of 18 cannot give consent to participate or even observe adult kinky activities under any circumstances. Such activity is automatically illegal and completely unethical. Underage children are never welcome at an adult kinky event and anyone who even appears possibly underage can expect to have their ID checked at the door despite anonymity protocols.

I should also note that it is rare that alcohol is allowed at kink events, much less served. There is more than enough excitement to go around at a kink event without booze being poured into the mix affecting judgment, perception and ability. In the rare cases where booze is allowed, the minimum age to attend the event is 21 and ID's will always be requested from everyone attending, no matter how old they look.]

Diversity & Mutual Respect

Be considerate & sensitive to those around you. The twin cities kink community is very diverse racially, culturally, socio-economically, gender identity-wise, sexual orientation-wise, and in many other ways as well. Their ages span from 18 to 70+, and nearly everyone has different alternative erotic interests. If you do feel a need to share a difference of opinion, do so civilly, respectfully and appropriately.
If you don’t like what is going on at a party, workshop or event, you don’t have to participate. If you don’t like seeing what is going on, you don’t have to watch. If you want to criticize people’s appearance or kind of play, keep it to yourself. If you are genuinely concerned about the safety of an activity, alert a DM (dungeon monitor) or the host. It is public play, so obviously observing is ok, if not encouraged, however there is a difference between looking with respect, interest and emotion and disrespectful offensive gawking.

We must be Responsible & Respectful

Practice respect, responsibility and discretion - Street dress to and from the event, no matter what it is. Be considerate of the neighborhood and the venue, no matter if the venue is a public place or someone’s house.

YKIOK, MKIOK

Your kink is ok, my kink is ok. The term kink is very inclusive and represents all manner of healthy and enjoyable erotic diversions. Just because something isn’t your idea of a good time or turns you off, doesn’t give you the right to marginalize or bash the activity, nor the people who enjoy it. In fact, it is very inappropriate to do so. Nearly all kinky activities can be done safely and responsibly provided you have the appropriate skill, knowledge and equipment.

Negotiation & Limits

Before engaging in kinky activities with others, it is critical that you negotiate and talk about the scene you want to have, to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. Limits refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid. During the negotiation, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. These are called limits.  All participants in the scene should express their limits and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.

Safe Words

Because we sometimes do scenes where a bottom might say, no or stop but not mean it, a method needed to be developed to indicate that there really was an issue with the scene. Safewords are simple, normally green light, yellow light, red light and safeword. However there can be many reasons for using them. It could mean that the bottom is reaching a limit or is having an issue such as they have to stop the scene to go to the bathroom. Safewords are agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants. Tops as well as Bottoms can Safe Word within a scene.

Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.
Anonymity & Confidentiality

The kink community has a long, strict tradition of anonymity and confidentiality. Each person differs in how out they are to their friends, family, coworkers and neighbors. Each person also differs in how comfortable they are with being out. In addition, because kink enthusiasts are not a protected class of people, people can and have been dismissed from jobs, lost their children in custody battles and so on due to ignorance and prejudice as a result of being out-ed (publicizing the otherwise private information that someone participated in kinky activities.)

So never reveal the real names of community members without their permission, never disclose or discuss who was at an event to those who weren’t at that event without the permission of those you are referring to. Use Scene names whenever possible. Never reveal the location of an event, workshop or party to anyone who is not invited. Be discrete, fly under the radar and help others do so as well.
Locations of local kink events, workshops and parties are nearly always confidential to community members, ticket holders or participants, keep it that way before and after the event. Be discrete, fly under the radar and help others do so as well.

Sexual & Sensual Touching (Non - Consensual)

Do not touch anyone in a sexual or sensual way non-consensually. Just because someone is a bottom and/or people and they are at a kinky event, doesn’t give you consent to do anything to them without their express permission. Obviously this also applies to any other gender identity as well as to top’s or switch’s.

Sexual & sensual touching includes rubbing someone’s neck, grabbing them around the waist, hugging them, tickling their side, touching their jewelry, collar or hair, patting them on the ass, etc. Respect people’s personal space and possessions, always ask before touching anyone sensually or sexually.

When someone is dancing, don’t assume she wants to dance with you, ask. If she is grinding and dirty dancing with someone else, don’t assume he wants to do that with you, ask. If someone moves away, assume they would rather not dance with you. If unsure, ask. Be polite when asking, gracious if turned away.

If someone is naked or partially naked, even traditionally non-sexual/non-sensual touching is likely to be inappropriate. Ask before touching *in any way* a naked or partially naked person. For example, ask if they would mind a hug, don’t walk up and tickle them, etc.
Never touch someone’s collar, piercing or tattoo without permission. Just because someone is naked, doesn’t mean they want to play. Just because someone is playing with others, doesn’t mean they want to play with you.

Be polite when asking, gracious if turned away. (Be polite when turning someone down, it isn’t easy to ask.) Assertive communication is kind communication. You don’t do anyone any favors by trying to get someone to get the hint.

If someone attempts to engage you non-consensually, ask them to stop and inform them you are not interested. If they continue to attempt to engage you, inform a workshop host. Harassment will not be tolerated. No means no.

Do not assume that because one is top/dominant that they require or want your service, nor that because one is bottom/submissive that they will provide or want to provide you with service if you are a top/dominant.

No one has to do anything they don’t want to do at any kink event in the Twin Cities.

Toys & Equipment

For many of us, the items we use for kinky activities can become quite personal if not sacred. Never touch someone else’s toys, equipment or possessions without permission.
__________________________________________

Kinky Activities
verses Abuse

Kinky Activities:

Nearly all people who engage in Safe, Sane and Consensual kinky activities do so as a pleasurable, healthy, recreational activity. They don’t try and hide evidence of their play from other kink enthusiasts and will often take pride and enjoyment in sharing their lifestyle activities with others with similar interests. Their mindset during kinky activities is positive and erotic, they feel good before, during and afterwards. They confidently make healthy choices about their play based on a variety of circumstances, including when to play, where to play, to what extent, and with whom. As a rule, they can immediately stop if circumstances change. Their kinky activities add a positive dimension to their lives and may even help them heal long-term personal issues, and grow as people.

Consensual - the presence of on-going mutual informed consent is the basis for all kinky activities

Pleasurable, positive & enjoyable for everyone involved, physically & mentally healthy

Mindset for everyone during the activities is positive and erotic

Add a positive dimension to people’s lives and may even help them heal and grow

Abuse:

Abuse is marked by compulsivity, a lack of control, shame, lies, anger and most important of all, a lack of mutual informed consent. Abuse and the evidence of it is nearly always hidden from as many people as possible, denial and defensiveness often accompany discussions of the abusive activities. Abuse frequently happens when things are bad and people’s mindset during the abuse is negative. The abusers normally exhibit poor control over when, where, and to what extent they will abuse someone. Abuse is limiting and destructive to the lives of everyone involved. Abusers will frequently feel guilty after abusing someone, though not always. Abuse is frequently accompanied by drug and alcohol use.
Lack of consent

Unenjoyable, unpleasant (if not horrific) for at least some of the people involved, frequently for all of the people involved

Limiting and destructive for everyone involved, physically and mentally

Mindset for everyone involved is negative and oppressive

Often leads to long term mental health and physical health issues for everyone involved

Abusers are criminals, whether spouse batterers, child molesters, rapists

Is often accompanied by drug and alcohol use, abuse and addiction

Is often cyclical and compulsive in nature

The Kink Community

Ultimately, the Kink community is similar to other types of communities where adults engage in recreational pursuits. From scuba diving to hang gliding to martial arts, many of these activities have elements that can be described as violent and/or dangerous and regularly result in injuries to the participants yet are very popular across the entire world. Injuries are actually rare in Kink and most of the activities are not dangerous. A few of the activities might purposefully involve striking or hurting another person, like the sports of football, wrestling or boxing. However unlike those sports, Kink participants are rarely if ever, combative, adversarial or hostile towards one another. Participation in Kink recreational diversions often requires skill and knowledge to do safely, just like scuba diving, ball room dance or mowing the lawn.

Kink Activities are physically, mentally and spiritually healthy recreational pursuits engaged in by consenting adults with other consenting adults. They are popular, done all over the world, and nearly always contribute to the positive growth of the people involved.

Thank you to Shannon with http://www.eroticdeviance.org for this write up on Kink Etiquette. If you are in the Twin Cities, visit her site and drop her an email!

Simply put, cock rings are cooler than almost anything else in the history of the world ever. A brief backround…

Cock rings (c-rings, or cock and ball rings) are rings that fit on a man’s penis. They usually are placed at the base of the penis, but may also be worn around the penis and scrotum, just the scrotum, or other areas of the shaft as well. They are most commonly constructed of rubber, silicone, leather, or metals.

Cock rings purpose are to slow the escape of blood from an erect penis. This means maintaining an erection for a longer period of time, an increase in size, as well as heightened sensations during oragasm. For this reason, cock rings may be used as an aid to prevent erectile dysfunction, or simply for a new sensation. Cock rings may also be worn simply as jewelry.

Types of cock rings

Stretchy Materials - Stretchy materials are generally applied when the penis is flacid (soft), but some may also be applied when already aroused. They may be silicone, nylon, or rubber most commonly. Many variations of these kind of cock rings exist. Many even vibrate. Some are able to simply cinch to size, these are known as a rubber hog tie. Some include clitoral stimulators, anal stimlators, or both. They may include a ring for the cock and balls, as well as one for just the shaft. There are also variations that may include 5 or 6 rings, referred to as the gates of hell.

Leather - Leather cock rings generally have a break in the material for connecting. They may have studs on the outside of the ring simply for fashion, or for added stimulation. Some cock rings have buckles, some snap, and others just stretch.

Metal Cock Rings - Metal Cock Rings may be made out of Stainless Steel, Chrome, or Titanium. Some of these cock rings have a break in them, with a hinge and a nut so you may take them off while erect if need be. Most however are a solid ring. The general sizing on a cock ring varies from 1.5 inches to 2.25 inches, however custom made rings are available. Like the other materials cock rings are made out of, metal cock rings come in various shapes and sizes.

Wrap up and sizing

Cock rings are a must if you’ve never tried one, or if you have erectile dysfunction. We suggest starting with a rubber or a silicone ring to get the feel of it. When you’re ready step up to a stainless or a chrome ring. We suggest chrome, as it is affordable, and doesn’t have the risk of irritation like stainless steel can. In terms of sizing, you may either wrap a string around your scrotum and penis, or simply start big and work your way smaller. If you ever experience ANY pain with a cock ring, STOP what you’re doing and remove the ring when possible. If this occurs with a chrome cock ring simply step up your sizing 1 notch.