As promised, here is an extremely simple exercise to help couples (groups or whatever else you’re into) open up to eachother.  We get this request alot at Midwest Triple X, as well as in our home parties that we do.

You make a list, but not just any list. You each make a list (in private) of these specific things.

1) Three things you have done in the past that you enjoy (whether with your partner or someone else)

2) Three things that you would never do

3) Three things that you would like to try

Seems simple enough, but heres the kicker. Make 1 list every month for 3 months straight. You will be suprised. You’re first, and very rarely your second list will be extremely tame (in general). All it takes is one person to break the ice to open eachothers mind, and feel comfortable. And as always, this only works with open communication, and with the understanding that it must be safe, sane, and consensual!

We’re all here. Seems like a fairly obvious statement…but some people seem to forget that. We take alot of crap from people, people from all walks. They seem to miss a very key aspect of things, that we’re all here.

As much as it is a little bit disturbing to think about it, you’re here because your parents schtupped. They got down. Got it on. More likely than not they did it a bunch too.

Anyways, back to my rant.

There is no reason not to be open about sexual matters. With your kids, siblings, parents, really anyone for that matter. In terms of specifics that is up to your discretion, but general conversations shouldn’t be a problem at all. SEX ISN’T A 4 LETTER WORD! And it sure as hell never will be!

It would be bad enough if we were just a ”Don’t push the red button!” society, but unfortunately, at this point we can’t even openly discuss that there is a red button at all! People get upset when 14 year old girls get knocked up, or even if they find out they’re having intercourse for that matter. Frankly, I would be too if it was my daughter (I have none). Well, instead of shifting blame solely to a 14 year old girl (who can’t even get a drink, a pack of smokes, or a porno if she wanted), maybe these kids parents should take a little responsibility. Instead of shying away from something as taboo as sex (the reason you’re alive to read this right now), why not actually address and educate!

Too many parents it seems these days leave this daunting task up to the school system. Not knocking the school system at all, but let’s assume for a second your child is actually in class and not in the principals office, or out sick, or skipping that day.

1) Kids generally don’t retain a whole hell of alot of information they learn in school

2) There are fairly strict guidelines on what teachers can and can’t say (even in sex ed)

3) How well do you know your childrens teachers?

4) Your kid is probably daydreaming about the new playstation 3, not giving a rats ass about about what a Fallopian Tubes purpose is

5) You don’t need to know that a fallopian tube even exists to get yourself into trouble sexually (pregnancy, std’s etc.)

I’m using parents and their kids as an example here, but realize that this carrys over to you grownups as well. This whole elephant in the living room nonsense isn’t going to fly anymore. How do you expect your kids not to get trampled if you don’t explain that “Hey! You’re too young to get trampled by an elephant! Lemme tell you, it’s right there, this is your options when dealing with an elephant, and here is the risks and rewards.”

In terms of couples and people that are married, even they have this similiar issues. First off, if you said I do, then there is no reason to not be upfront with your spouse. Whether you’re talking about what your favorite toothpaste is, or what your favorite sexual position is. ***Newsflash*** YOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’VE ALREADY SEALED THE DEAL AND MADE YOUR PROMISE TO GOD! It’s even ok to schtupp now in his eyes, and you’re still pussy footin around the subject! Come on!

For couples talking specifically about sexual matters I suggest 1 simple exercise for the two of you. But we’ll follow that up in a different entry~

Orgasms On Command; Counting Down to Ecstasy.

You may have heard someone talking about it, or you may have even tried it. Tried it, perhaps without result. Or you may have even faked it. Orgasms, on command, is it possible? Well the answer is for most is yes. Though, it depends greatly on particular factors.

The first and greatest is of course a willingness to have it happen. If you or your subject is dead set against this possibility there is no way you will ever get there. Like any “hypnotic” or conditioned effect, it depends greatly on the willingness of the subject to immerse themselves in the idea. The second factor is patience. You’re not going to teach or learn this in a few hours or even in a few weeks, unless you are very, very susceptible to suggestion. The easiest way to explain what this entails is to talk about Pavlov’s experiments, otherwise known as the Pavlovian effect. For those who don’t know what I am speaking of Pavlov experimented in learned response. This is essentially what we are striving for, a learned response. With Pavlov it was simple, each time he called the subject, a dog, to eat, he rang a bell, eventually just by ringing the bell caused the dog to salivate in preparation for dinner.

We do the same thing with orgasms. Beginning with conventional sex we know will cause an orgasmic response. Be that intercourse or perhaps working with a favorite toy. We are working with a count, from ten to one with the permission to release at zero, or if wished followed by a phrase such as “cum now”, or “cum for me”, etc. In case you are wondering I have had this work with both males and females.

The first step is of course sexual excitement, start with a lot of foreplay, and use what you know gets a person hot. No pressure. But be sure the person knows ahead of time they cannot orgasm without permission to do so. That no matter what they must wait until you say they can cum. What follows is a step by step count down with dialogue, you can change the dialog as you wish, but its best to keep to the principals.

As you feel you subject is approaching orgasm start the countdown. Whisper in their ear with a sensual voice. Make sure you have their attention.

“Are you ready to Cum Now? Can you feel it? Don’t cum until I tell you too, Are you ready”?

“10: Can you feel it building? That spot of heat in your belly”?

“9: Hold that heat, feel it build but hold it in a tight ball right at the pit of your belly”.

“8: You feel it get hotter now, spreading through your center”.

“7: Let the ball of fire build hotter, but hold it tightly”.

“6: Feel the ball start to grow tendrils, feel them reach out through your chest and arms to your fingers”.

“5: Feel your fingers and toes start to tingle, feel the heat start to be pulled into your center”.

“4: Concentrate on all this heat of your body drawn into your center, draw it back in and hold it tightly”.

“3: Growing hotter, hold the fire tightly, until I tell you to cum ( My Love, My sweet)”.

“2: Unbearable now, but hold it for me feel it ready to burst “.

“1: When I say (add your phrase or use zero) cum for me. I want you to feel that heat that fire run through your body and out your fingers and toes, are you ready? Are you ready to cum for me? Say Please”.

*At this point pay close attention to their movements, as you may have to draw it out a bit, by counting slowly, or quickening up the pace if you feel they can hold the orgasm no longer.*

“0: Now, cum NOW! (my love) Cum for me, feel that ball of heat explode through you, feel it run out your through your body”.

Be sure to keep your voice quiet and melodious, Not sharp, if your not sure how to do this rent a hypnosis tape and listen to the way they speak. It should be husky and sensual, your breath in their ear. Quiet so that they feel that it is all for them, that you two are the only ones there, private, safe, comfortable.

Each time you have sex, or play with a favorite toy, keep the same count, with the same script, with few if any variations. Have them hold their orgasm until the last moment and focus on their pleasure at that time. There will be time for you later. This will do a few things, it will make them feel special, it will give you a sense of accomplishment and it will begin to add a suggestion to their mind to associate your words and the countdown with orgasm.

Eventually, after the first few initial experiences slowly start to get rid of the speaking portions, first every third sentence, then every other one and so on until you are down only to the countdown from ten. This should take a few months or more until eventually the idea is down to knowing when they are ready to orgasm and that they should hold orgasm until you say zero, O, or your phrase.

After a period of time, which differs for most people, just the count will be deeply associated with the orgasmic response. Once the mind is trained, for most, all it takes is a bit of excitement, or a mild turned on feeling to have the count instigate the orgasmic response. For those who are more suggestible the response can be brought on “cold,” even in public, like in a restaurant or on a plane, ect. ect.

This does not work for everyone of course, but it is possible with a large portion of the population. An interesting effect is that once a subject has an orgasm the effect is usually very easy to immediately duplicate. My record at this time is 34 orgasms in a 4 hour period, each more powerful than the last.

Again, Thanks to wolf at Shadow Academy for such a detailed write up, you frickin rock!  For more info, visit him at Shadowacademy.com or come see us at Midwest Triple X .