Minneapolis, Minnesota Basilica - We are oh sooooo very sorry!
Tuesday, January 13th, 2009We here at Midwest Triple X love the holidays so much we thought we would run a special promo. We’ll just say we’ve handed out quite a bit of lube and condoms in our days, especially around the holidays (time of giving and all that!)
Sometimes it’s not very well received. It has come to our attention that some members of The Minneapolis, Minnesota Basilica were offended when they received certain promotional materials, at least a couple even called the city! We did our best to include our contact info for comments, questions, and concerns, but apparently they didn’t want to complain to us, but instead the higher ups.
So in lieu of paying any fines, we have opted to write a public apology letter to those that have been offended. So, without further adu, here you go you wankers.
Oh Minneapolis, Minnesota Basilica, how very sorry we are…let us count the ways! We are sorry that we gave on the holidays…we now realize that giving is bad, and will make sure never to do it again.
We are sorry that we want people to be safe when having sex, we forgot that nobody in your congregation married or otherwise has sex.
We now appreciate how lubrication is a dirty, dirty thing, and is a DANGER to our society as a whole! Whether it’s WD40, Cooking Oil, Motor Oil, or just a good ol’ wack lube, we are planning on starting an online petition. We will be sending it to our congressman to ensure that ALL these sinful lubes are BANNED from our beloved state immediately!
We are also extremely sorry that not even HALF of the people from your congregation that stopped in were stopping in to complain. More people were here to shop than to complain. For this we are sorry, and if there is anything we can do to help cleanse your congregation of wrong-doing, we are all ears.
Above all else, we apologize for NOT BEING SORRY! Merry Christmas (oops gotta be pc, happy holidays is what we mean) and all that happy horseshit!
With utmost Sincerity,
Midwest Triple X Staff and Employees!
207 Washington Ave. North
Minneapolis, MN
612-332-8725
You may send emails on this topic to FuckOffWeDontGiveAShit@shopmidwestxxx.com , and we will get back to you as soon as we give a fuck~